orange county

Theresa Smith’s activism began on a cold, rainy night in December of 2009. She had worked seven days in a row, and was relaxing in her pajamas at home when she received a phone call that no mother ever wants to receive. A family member called to say that there was a police shooting on the news — and they thought the person shot was Theresa’s son, Caesar Cruz.

Still in her pajamas, Theresa drove to the site of the shooting — a Walmart parking lot. Her son had already been transported to the hospital at that point. Police would not let her near his vehicle or provide any additional information. She headed off to the hospital — where she was refused access to her son, kept waiting for hours, questioned by police, and eventually told that her son had died. She was not allowed to see him or view the body.

Caesar was a husband and a father of five, and was on his way to pick up his children from school when he was killed by the Anaheim police.

As Theresa explains, “I don’t remember much after they told me Caesar had expired. It’s all a fog. All of the voices sounded like they were straight out of Charlie Brown — wah-wah-wah-wah.”

Even in this deep fog, Theresa knew that the situation required immediate action. “My son’s death happened on a Friday, we had a vigil for him on Saturday, Sunday I started protesting, and by Monday I had an attorney.”

The entire first year was a blur. She fought within the legal system to have Caesar ‘s case heard, protested every weekend, and wrote to every politician short of the President. She also researched for hours on end, and reached out to other families who had experienced similar tragedies.

Theresa continued pressing for accountability for her son’s death. In spite of her efforts, there were never criminal charges brought against any of the officers involved in the shooting. The city of Anaheim eventually settled a private case with Caesar ‘s family after a lengthy court battle, but admitted no wrongdoing.

Throughout this time, Theresa continued to research the topic of officer-involved shootings. She discovered that this was not an isolated incident. Perhaps her son’s death was not really as random and isolated as she originally thought.

Theresa knew now that she had to be an agent for change. She wanted to connect with other victim’s families and work with local law enforcement to create more open dialogue with the communities they serve. To do this, she founded an organization she named LEAN – The Law Enforcement Accountability Network.

LEAN’s mission is to promote supportive relationships between law enforcement and the communities they serve. Theresa states emphatically that she is not anti-police. Rather, she is pro-accountability. As she explains, “Police are human just like us. It was five human beings who took my son’s life. And those human beings should be held accountable. There is no justice in my case. Nothing will bring my son back. What I’m asking for is accountability.”

LEAN provides resources to support those affected by use of force by law enforcement officers, facilitates dialogue between police and concerned community residents, and advocates for policy changes that support community policing, police accountability and transparency.

LEAN also works with organizations doing similar work across the United States. Theresa connects with other mothers who have also lost children in officer involved shootings, or in police custody. She is part of a circle of mothers throughout the country who share similar stories. In describing this group, Theresa says, “We are not angry mothers. We are angry about the manner in which the police took our child. When we get together, it it is very healing. We laugh. We cry. We talk about how our children lived. Only we know what we are going through. It’s a beautiful thing.”

Theresa says her work is sometimes exhausting and lonely. “That is why so many families walk away from this,” she says, “The system is just too much.”

But Theresa did not walk away. She continues her efforts to promote positive change — so that other mothers do not have to experience her pain. As she explains, “I’m going to be doing this until I take my last breath. Or until there is accountability. One or the other.”

Theresa keeps her son’s memory alive through her activism. It is work that can be painful, but is also incredibly rewarding.

Working with other families is what Theresa finds most rewarding. She says only those who have been through this can truly understand the pain. She explains, “I have PTSD. You live with this forever. Suicide and homicide are the worst deaths because it’s sudden and violent. It’s almost impossible to get over it. Especially when it’s your child.”

Theresa continues, “I talk about my son’s death all the time. It does take a toll on me. But I remind people of how my son lived. Because Caesar isn’t the person that they killed. That is not who he was. That doesn’t define Caesar. Caesar was Caesar from 1974–2009. That dash was my son — not the day he was born or the day he died. It was the in between. Caesar was true to himself. There was nothing fake about my son. He was very loving, very caring. His five boys were his world. He was a protector. Beloved by family and friends. He didn’t have much, but what he did he would share with others.”

“There is one thing you take beyond the grave.” Theresa says, “It is love. I can still feel my son’s love every day.”

You can support Theresa and her work with LEAN through a monetary donation. LEAN is sponsored by the ACLU, and a 501c organization. Theresa’s goal is to develop a fund to help families who are in similar situations. These families who lost loved ones suddenly and violently, have immediate financial needs, that many times they can not meet. This fund would provide assistance to show these families that someone cares. As Theresa says, “They are already broken in so many ways, if I can alleviate something small to help them, that is what I want to do.”

Theresa also welcomes and needs volunteers to help plan events, attend protests, contact legislators, and provide technical support for her website. She especially needs volunteers to help plan community outreach events, like her LEAN holiday event each December, where she provides gifts to local children who have lost fathers due to gun violence.

You can find out more about Theresa’s work in our community and how you can support it at lean4change.org.

This is part of our series we call “Community Voices” on our site. We want to hear from more members of our community. If you would like to share your story with us, please send an email to our Communications Team by filling out the form below.